This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
