I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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