never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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