Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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