Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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