I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
