New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
