I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
