those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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