If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
