nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I bet he comes in French.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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