i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
