I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I accidentally burped into my bong.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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