so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
