i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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