I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
