1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
