Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You are a genius and a whore.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
