the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
one might say we're banned from that church
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
