I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
