She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you inspire me to be a worse person
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
