When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
