If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
