So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
