I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
