I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
