why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
