she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
