yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
