have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
