Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize