when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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