I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
