ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
