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That's how twitter works, right?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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