forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Four minutes until I can fart!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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