Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize