I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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