Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have fence marks all over my body
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
