that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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