I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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