Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
