I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
