If i come over, it means nothing
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
