I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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