Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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