I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize