..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
