Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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