There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
