Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
