real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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