Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize