Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
How's work?
Spinning.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
