i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
