her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
