If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
