Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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