is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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