I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
