try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
