If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
