Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
