Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
