Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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